Am I not worthy of your tears
Of saying good-bye after all these years
Will you not miss me when I am gone
A void in your life, where once was a song
The deepest darkest of my days
Stole the light and sunshine rays
Faith be lost – Hell be found
Shadows cloud the good and sound
Pain has become me – Too many tears
Hope is elusive and dreams disappear
Just like my life once thought to be dear
Say good-bye… I am no longer near.
This was written during the past couple of weeks like the previous two posts. It is not how I feel any longer, but I share it to show that I go through some fairly rough times as well. Despite an ability to forge ahead, there are times when I feel like giving up too. I can get just as discouraged and hopeless as anyone else, but it doesn’t mean that I am no longer a Christian or that I have lost my way. It might mean that I could use more prayer and support though!
I think sometimes people are afraid of the whole “God” thing, because they’re under the impression that it means you have to be perfect, that somehow once you become a believer it means you can’t screw up anymore without being condemned to hell, or that members of the church don’t have real life problems. Sadly, these are some of the stigmatisms that accompany Christianity, because of how some churches choose to operate. I have belonged to congregations where it seemed taboo to have any real life problems and if you did, you dare not speak of them! But, that’s the problem with trying to keep everything behind closed doors and swept under the carpet – with trying to appear perfect – it can make us as Christians and believers un-relatable to the outside world.