10 Reasons Why I Hate You

September 27, 2013

Articles, Soul Seeds

1. You stole my innocence. My purity. My childhood. Things I can never get back.
BUT it made me grow up fast so I learned how to become responsible and independent. I know how to get things done and have become a leader instead of a follower.

2. You lied to me. Habitually. Kept me confused. Created chaos.
BUT I learned to hate lies and cherish the truth. I choose to be honest, because I never want to be responsible or held accountable for causing the kind of damage and pain that you have.

3. You scarred my body. You inflicted physical damage. You left marks. They are permanent. They are ugly. They are visible for the world to see.
BUT they are a bitter-sweet reminder of the hell I have survived. They remind me every day how strong and blessed I am just to be here. Just to be alive. They make me more grateful for every breath I take and for every experience I have.

4. You made me question my spirituality, my beliefs and God.
BUT it made me dig deeper, search harder and seek even more. As I saw the evil in you, I knew that Hell exists. Then as I survived your hell, I knew that Heaven must exist too. Now I have absolutely no doubts about God and I run towards Him. My roots are strong and deep and my faith continues to grow.

5. You are an actor. You are not real, only an image of what is good, You have no morals. No values. No boundaries. You broke my heart and I didn’t want to love again.
BUT I realize I was only in love with the image you portrayed and you are not all men. The positive things which have derived from our unhealthy relationship have taught me about everything I know I don’t want, so now I have more boundaries and self-respect. Therefore, it was still worth the risk. It really is better to love and lost than to never have loved at all.

6. You changed me. Forever. A piece of who I am – the very essence of who I am is changed because of you.
BUT I no longer hate who I am because of you. Instead, I embrace that part of me and have learned how it completes me and makes me whole. My experiences, both good and bad, have made me who I am today and I am a wonderfully unique person loved by many – a daughter of the Most High, a princess who is cherished by the King.

7. You used me. In every way shape and form. Unapologetically. For all intents and purposes.
BUT only for as long as I let you. Now I expect better from myself and for myself. I am learning about self love.

8. You are a thief. You robbed me blind. You wiped me out financially, materially, emotionally, physically and even spiritually.
BUT God is good. He restores to me all that was taken and even gives back in abundance. I am promised that He will redeem each tear for me in Heaven.

9. You are abusive. You inflict fear. You destroy and tear down. You are selfish and weak. You played with my emotions like a master puppeteer. You kept me isolated and alone. You made me believe I was damaged goods and of no use to anyone else. You are an expert… the best at what you do.
BUT I became a stronger person because of you. I am tenacious, resilient and persistent. I am authentic. I wear my heart on my sleeve, never hiding who I am. I am very sensitive to others needs and emotions. Most find me very relatable, because of all my experiences so I’m able to help them. I became a lover of people and am able to connect with them on levels that I might not have otherwise been able to. 

10. You made me hate you. With everything that I am. I hate you.
BUT now I know how to love to the same extent, if not greater, and I am learning what forgiveness is all about. For these lessons in unconditional love and more,,, I would not change a thing.

Soul Seeds…

Dear Perpetrators,
Even though you have given me all of these reasons and more to hate you, know that I do not. It is because of you that I know how to survive. I have a story to tell. I have become an inspiration to others. You forced me into the best position I could possibly be in and I am blessed in ways I could have never imagined. I learned how to become a survivor and not remain a victim. Thank you.
Freedom Found,
A survivor

Martin Luther King, JR quote

OK readers, so maybe a more appropriate title would be “10 Reasons Why I Should Hate You” but I’ll let you decide.

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6 Comments on “10 Reasons Why I Hate You”

  1. Scott Sholar Says:

    The good news is that we having a loving and forgiving Savior. He helps us to “love our enemies and pray for those who despitefully use us.”

    Reply

  2. billgncs Says:

    I think that when we hate, that is the last thread of control they have over us. When we ultimately forgive ( not dropping the fact that what was done was evil and accountable to laws here and hereafter ) we can move on.

    I wish your journey only safe travels and lovely destinations.

    Reply

  3. janahagan Says:

    Awesome Jessie. Thank you.

    Reply

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