Before I Give Up

January 6, 2014

Articles, Inspiration

*This is a re-post from another blog called, “Die Trying.” An incredible woman dedicated this post to me called, “Dear Jessie” after reading my story “Kidnapped” and I’d like to share how it has affected me.

Dear Jessie

Kidnapped

Kidnapped

To Jessie Jeanine

Silenced by the struggle, determination, hate, love, fight and courage all rolled into one.

Hi Jessie, thank you for linking your post to my blog because it allowed me to read your blog, which I had to keep stopping and reading throughout the day. I too, like many have lived through some of life’s toughest challenges, however, your story was one I could not share with my family when they kept asking..’what are you reading?’ I had no answers, the words could not leave my mouth, I was silenced by your struggles, determination, hate, love and fight, courage all rolled into one.  Its been a few days ago that I read your blog, but needed time to comprehend your life story, of which I never will. One often reads or hears stories of tragic moments and some of strength and hope, but it is a story like yours that moves and shifts the inside core.

I stood looking out at the ocean half way through your story with tears streaming down my face, for your pain and the pain of every other female exposed to such cruelty. How big is this world, how far we both are, how similar that pain. Burning emotions, a mind speeding at the light of day, is what I am left with.

I wish there was an award greater to offer you, but I have nominated you for the Imagine Award because that’s what you have done for me, got me to imagine your life, another woman’s life, of which I never could, but your pain I feel even just a fraction. Your strength, courage and faith is more than an inspiration to people everywhere. Much love and kindness.

(My Response…)

Dearest Die Trying,

Reading your post this morning was like receiving a breathe of fresh air, which is a wonderful gift not to be taken for granted. I have not shared with anyone that I have been praying about giving up… as strong as I try to be, I have felt weak and like I am only treading water, just waiting to drown.

The task of blogging and trying to keep people interested enough to like and share something you’ve written can be a difficult one. It makes me realize, if that is where my concern lays, then I have forgotten what this journey is really about. It has been two years blogging and I still haven’t gotten my book out yet. I have felt lost and wondered what ever made me think I could do this in the first place. Why did I think I could be successful at this. 

Then I realize it depends on what your views and measure of success are. I think I had it right in the very beginning though. When I first started, I measured success by the mere quality of the comments and emails I received – the way in which my story was touching lives and affecting hearts. But then I began to wander around in the wilderness, and success became more about the quantity of shares and likes I got. Of course, I didn’t realize how this started to affect my writing! Finally, success has become about the money and how many donations I can bring in. However, I can see now how it has changed the way in which I write and what I share, and I realize I have gotten lost on my own journey!

For this reason, my heart has not been into writing a book or in telling my story anymore and I haven’t been able to figure out why. So many nights I have laid crying and wondering how I lost the passion and courage to share and why couldn’t I get back into it. Now, I can see though and I think understand… so thank you! 

Thank you for reminding me what this was all about in the first place – it’s about you! It’s about offering hope and inspiration to other victims and survivors of life regardless of what they’re own story is. Am I not always saying that while we each have a story to share, pain is pain, and that is how we can all relate? This journey, HIS journey is all about touching the hearts and souls of others.

Thank you for reminding me that my story has a place in this big ole world. I believe that I’m still here, because it is a journey that needs to be shared and all the people I meet along the way become a part of that journey – one of healing, inspiration, hope, courage, struggle, love, kindness… it is a journey of life – a journey of humanity.

Your reaction is one that I often hear from people as they read through this blog. It brings me to tears every single  time. It makes me wonder about the outcome of all this though, because I’ve shared so very little thus far. I suppose part of me fears revealing all of it, because even as I remember things and write about them, it seems unreal at times. It doesn’t seem possible so much could happen to just one person and I fear it reading like a movie or something…

Please know, you have given me the greatest of compliments by saying, “One often reads or hears stories of tragic moments and some of strength and hope, but it is a story like yours that moves and shifts the inside core.” Know that I will take this with more confirmation to get back on track and continue with what I believe He would have me do.

Yes, the oceans and the land separate us, but we are one. We are united through our pain, our tears, our hope and our courage. I am so grateful for you… I am so grateful for this journey and all the connections I have made along the way! Thank you lovely lady at “Die Trying” for taking the time to read, to make a connection, to share your heart… thank you for taking the time to care!

In Christ’s Love Always, 
♥ Jessie Jeanine

I Love You!

My gratitude is for all of you who have been following this story – especially those who have sent emails (even if I haven’t always been able to keep up with them!) and offered your love, support and encouragement through the many comments and ways we connect here. I will not give up, for I have been reminded of the real reasons behind doing this again! And I’m sure I can’t even imagine all of the ‘whys’ and ‘reasons’ He would have me share this story – it just matters that I remain transparent, and share with you my heart, as I continue this journey with trust and faith in Him.
Be well friends and God bless!

*I have received many awards since the creation of this blog, so thank you very much! Even though I do not post them, please know that they are greatly appreciated and I am always humbled to be nominated.

 

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10 Comments on “Before I Give Up”

  1. Die Trying Says:

    Posted on my fan page under notes. Much love xxx

    Reply

  2. Die Trying Says:

    Hello Jessie, I do hope you are having a good day today, one filled with courage and smiles:) I have opened a category on my blog titled “Dear Jessie” where I will post all communication between the two of us, any other suggestions and letters from more online friends who are interested in following and maybe telling their story as well as some motivational and inspiration posts which may brighten our day >3

    Reply

    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      Either great minds think alike or this is a God thing ~ or perhaps it’s a little of both :) After posting my latest reply I had the same thought about creating a space for our correspondence. I feel honored that you have done so! I don’t know where this is going, but I find what we’re sharing to be very inspiring and motivational, so I hope that others do too. I’m not sure if you saw my reply to your latest post this time, so I left a link on your blog again as well. I hope ou have a wonderful day and thanks for making me smile yet again :) Hugs my friend! ♥

      Reply

  3. spiritministries Says:

    I just finished reading this and found it quite interesting. The Lord has given me a few words to share with you Jessie during this time.

    1. Proverbs 16:3-Comitt your work to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established or (your plans will succeed).
    2. Proverbs 16:9-We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps.
    3. Proverbs 16:7-When the ways of the people please the Lord He makes even their enemies live at peace with them.

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Dear Jessie – Kidnapped | DIE TRYING - February 26, 2014

    […] Before I Give Up […]

  2. How To Move On (part 1) | Jessie Jeanine - January 27, 2014

    […] Before I Give Up […]

  3. Letters From An Online Friend | Jessie Jeanine - January 6, 2014

    […] is a re-post and response to my last post, “Before I Give Up.” I hope everyone can follow the way I’m doing this, but if not, just go to her site […]

  4. DIE TRYING - January 6, 2014

    […] http://jessiejeanine.com/2014/01/06/before-i-give-up/#respond […]

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