Breaking up is hard to do, but it can be a blessing when you remain friends.
The Dating Game
Even though I have been a single parent for 16 of my daughter’s nearly 18 years, I have still dated men on and off during that time. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago though that I really began actively seeking a life long partner with the hopes of marriage.
Since I don’t do the bar scene as a single woman, nor do I have a typical job in which to meet people (outside of dating FBI, detectives, law enforcement, attorneys, and so forth) I’ve done something I never thought I would do and tried the online dating scene. I have used a couple of different sites and I must say, the experiences have been interesting to say the least (that’s a whole different story for another time!)
Do You Stay or Do You Go
One of the things I’ve noticed is that many people don’t know how to break up. It makes dating seem more like a burden or a chore when that’s the case, in which, it’s difficult to have fun if you’re already dreading the process.
I don’t think it has to be that hard when we act like grown ups about it and have healthy boundaries. Even wearing my heart on my sleeve and becoming emotionally attached as quickly as I do, I have come to an easier understanding about it now now verses when I was younger.
It is either a good match or it isn’t.
It really is that simple.
Marriage is many things, but mostly it’s about a partnership. Of course you want to be in love, to be best friends, etc. But just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean you should get married, or that it’d be a good match for the rest of your lives.
The heart will love many ~ choose your partner wisely.
If You Go
Breaking up is still hard to do no matter what though, especially if you have grown to love one another. Maybe you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings or go through any of the negative feelings yourself. While any of that may be the case, let me assure you of one thing – the sooner, the better.
As soon as you know it isn’t the right situation for you, have enough respect for yourself and the other person to end it. No matter how painful it might seem at the time, I guarantee it will be a lot less than if they find out later that it should have ended long before. No one likes to feel as if they’ve just been treading water or wasting time.
Better To Have Love and Lost?
I would say yes. Personally… I realize who it was, but I will never cease praying for another who is (referring to the pic.)
My first true love happened as a teenager and we were together for about four years. Ever since our break up I have compared every relationship I’ve ever had to it for one simple reason – the young man was truly my best friend. Of course we had our ups and downs, but we were each others strongest support, biggest encouragement, and truest confidants. We shared absolutely everything and he always looked out for my best interest. We were better and stronger together as a team and had fun doing almost anything just because we were together.
That man is happily married now with children of his own – just as I have mine – and I couldn’t be happier for him. I keep his family in my prayers and wish them life’s greatest blessings.
There has (at times) seemed to be a void in my life due to his absence and yet, at other times, I know how much better my life is just because of the time we did have. You see, there are certain people we meet during our lives who will (no doubt) make us a better person just for having known them. He is one of those people to me (as are my mentors) and therefore, I am very grateful for the experiences we shared. I also have no regrets, because my daughter is the greatest gift God could ever bestow upon me and I wouldn’t change that for the world. We can choose to look at all of our relationships this way regardless of how they end.
Seek the positive in every situation
and you will find the blessing.
These things have come to mind, because a dating relationship I was in has recently come to an end. This time, it has been a blessing to reach the mutual conclusion that it isn’t the best match right now. I’ve had to end too many relationships with a no contact rule, so I appreciate that we can part ways wishing each other and our families all the best.
I will however, continue to pray and search for my future husband, believing that he too will become my best friend, and perhaps in light of wisdom and experiences gained through out the years, we might share an even deeper type of love and friendship than I have ever known before.