So… I never take a day off to just relax. Like NEVER! A dear friend has strongly encouraged me to this weekend and I finally agreed (yes, you have to twist my arm it seems lately.)
Between searching for temporary housing until we can move into our apartment, finances, school enrollment and admissions, searching for a new home church, finding support groups, writing and trying to gain new support locally, counseling, meeting new people and making new friends, not to mention the stress of leaving the country this month (in which it seems my obligations there may have changed now too), the recent life changing dynamics of turning 40 and having a child who turned 18 (the empty nest syndrome and relational differences) etc. etc. blah, blah, blah…
It’s no wonder I am so run down and sick again! And even when I’m on vacation or if I fall ill, I will still work from bed, lol! Instead, I need to refuel and recharge. I deplete myself and give way too much without replenishing, which is foolish. I need to remember and practice what I preach…
~ GOD’S GOT THIS! ~
He knows everything, hears my prayers and counts my tears. He will redeem everything for His glory and in His timing. All I have to do is trust and have faith in HIM! I need to turn to HIM for replenishment.
I do NOT need to turn to man,
ungodly friendships or relationships,
gambling or substance abuse.
But, those are the easy things… at least to me. Those are the logical and common sense ways we might slip away from God without even realizing it. As it turns out though, many other things can pull us away from Him as well. Things like worry, anxiety and stress. Then there are things which may be inherently good for us yet, when used in excess or abused, can become bad for us too, such as exercise or even helping others.
Anything which requires more of our time, love and energy than the things of Christ is not good. And that’s where I have been. My thoughts and feelings have been centered around this world, instead of all the wonderful things of God.
Oh, how I miss the direction and guidance of my elders
and the good men that have been in my life.
So it seems I may need to be reminded of a few things again. I’m finally getting back into the Word daily and seeking Gods peace there. I didn’t realize how much I have been pleading, begging and searching for it everywhere else in the world. I have allowed our circumstances to control my life and monopolize my thoughts, instead of believing what God has to say about it all.
I can’t go on like this… for once you taste a relationship with Christ, you realize all else leads to death and that is exactly what I have felt like. I feel like I have been dying and I never wanted to feel that way again.
So… I am taking a much needed break for the entire weekend! If it doesn’t rain I’ll take my camera up to the mountains. I probably miss doing that the most everyday. I would pack pencil and paper too, because anytime I’d come upon a stream, that’s where I hunker down to write poetry. Perhaps I’ll just stay in bed for a day, pretending to get a stone massage, while relaxing with a movie and sleeping off the ickies. Better yet, I might just do both :)
“Have a very blessed weekend everyone!”
This is our test and how we grow. It is important that we learn how to center our lives around the things of God versus the things of man. How do we do that with so much worldly influence? It is a constant battle, which requires a continuous renewal of the mind. It means we have to intentionally choose, over and over again, that which is good ~ from the kinds of things we listen to, to what we watch, to the things we say and think, and the things we get involved in and do.
And even though I know God has never left my side, it feels like I have been playing hide ‘n’ seek with Him for quite some time now. Have you ever felt like that? It really is true that when this happens, it’s because we have left Him. I haven’t gone to regular services or opened my bible on a daily basis for a very long time now and because of that… I have been wandering in the wilderness.
Always remember that it doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen or how long you’ve been gone. When you are ready, God is waiting with His arms open wide saying,
“It is time to come back home.”