While it is true that people like this make it hard for us to trust, depend, or rely on others… never let them be a reason for losing hope. In fact, let them become the reason you believe in God and miracles even more!
So, I met a campus pastor and author who seems to be rather popular around here. I had been approaching churches and organizations that would help pay for our deposit this time due to our situation (although, my meeting him had nothing to do with that.) When he heard of our struggles and found out what I was having to do though, he offered me a $600 loan to cover it, allowing for plenty of time to pay it back.
I’ve never had to owe a person money like that before, thanked him and politely turned down the offer… no less than five times! Instead, we go on a date and he gives me a signed copy of his book. It was a lot of fun, but we had some very different views on some of the important stuff like the legalization of marijuana and the right to bear arms (I don’t believe in the legalization however, I’m glad to know it has really helped some people deal with chronic illnesses. And if you break into my house, I can almost guarantee you’ll be leaving in a body bag, because God wants us to protect the family He’s given us.) Needless to say, I didn’t have any romantic interest in this man although, he seemed nice enough and I’m always up for supporting other’s good efforts.
Well, after meeting him and feeling comfortable enough, I finally took him up on his offer for a loan. He seemed happy to help, stating he’d deposit it into my paypal account that same day. I waited for it to come, realizing it can take a couple of days to clear, and I never heard anything different from him.
I began sharing with people that we didn’t need help with a deposit anymore and we were just focused on making the extra money we needed for the following month instead. I was relieved and trusted this guy completely, perhaps because of his position and the idea that he came to me. HE made the offer and was in no way tied to any of the places I was seeking assistance from.
Now, I honestly don’t know what happened ~ I don’t know if he was upset that I wasn’t interested in romance and just friendship, or perhaps he didn’t like my website, or maybe it was the fact that I wouldn’t agree with him regarding some of those personal views, or what… But, the payment never came. He knew our deadlines, so I began asking him about it. Going a few days without any answer (although, he was active online) made me start to worry. Finally, he just messages me back saying he’s not going to help now.
What?! I am supposed to pay the deposit and sign a lease in just a couple of days and he’s just telling me this now? I have a hard enough time asking for help, let alone feeling like I might to beg or plead, but I just kept thinking about providing a roof over my daughters head again. I asked him why and to please reconsider. The least he could have done was tell me he changed his mind two weeks ago, so I could have had more time to still come up with it, because he’s well aware of our circumstances. It would have been no problem then and I would have understood.
His demeanor and character were just such a huge disappointment, as I’d watch what he was currently posting and saying to the public all the while he seemed to be someone else with me in private. He even changed his mind that same day we were messaging about it, saying yes again, but then no again too. Then for some reason it ended by him donating $200 saying I didn’t have to pay it back. I’m not going to be ungrateful, so thank you, but honestly (with that kind of personality) I would have rather borrowed what we needed and repaid every cent.
What’s wrong with people saying one thing and doing another these days? Working with the personality types that I have for so long, I expect it from them, but I run into these types all the time. That’s why I’ve learned (for the most part) never to trust what you say, only what you do. It’s seems incredibly sad to me though, that we live in a society where it seems the only way to survive is by living in self-protection mode.
Be a person of your word!
What We Are In Need Of
Here’s where things currently sit. I’m only airing this publicly, so you realize that I go through some of the same kinds of daily struggles that you do, and because outside resources haven’t been very viable for us and I’ll tell you why.
We keep falling through the cracks ~ my girl just turned 18 so technically she’s not a dependant minor anymore, and because we’re not already in our home needing help to prevent losing it, we can’t get any help. It seems a bit backwards to me, but that’s what I keep hearing. Most of the programs around here are set up to aide in the prevention of homelessness, but not to acquire it (meaning, I’m supposed to already have a lease in hand.)
Now, it took forever it seems like to get approved for our new place, because of the hang ups our address protection program can cause. I had applied to maybe 8 other properties prior to this one, so it was a fight this time. Normally, even without the Feds help anymore, things aren’t an issue because I’ve always had enough cash to offer deposit, rent, first and last, etc. (I have yet to run across anyone who would say no to $5,000 or more cash upfront) but this time, I don’t have funds like that available. We’ve been traveling and living in hotels for months now (seeking a college my girl could get into) and it ate up everything we had.
*I have paid the fees and holding deposit already, but still need to acquire $1200 this week in order to sign the lease and move in by the 14th (if I can’t do this then they revoke my approval too.) On top of that, the full rent is due of $975 just two weeks later again. The breakdown of the $1200 needed is for pro rated rent, $600 deposit, plus administration fee.
Once all that is said and done, we’ll be living monthly/normally and shouldn’t have problems maintaining things on our own by then. I do have a few hundred of what’s needed this week, but anything else I’ve been able to make this past month has been used for minimal living expenses plus, the yearly fees for 3 of my 4 websites are all due this month as well.
We’re asking for your help please to be able to get moved into our new home and further settle back in Colorado. If you’re a regular follower, then I think you can tell that I’m back here to stay again (blogging/writing/counseling) and my girl has finally started college, so we’re not moving around anymore now. FINALLY ~ LOL! It’s time to make a home! :)
Absolutely anything you could help with would be a
total blessing and very much appreciated.
Times are tough for everyone,
but many people will help or give to good causes just like they tithe, so…
We’d love to be YOUR good cause for the month! :)
Also, if you’re new to this site, please realize that it’s more than a FT job to blog, write a book, learn social media, volunteer, plus I counsel with people for hours (that seems to go in spurts ~ we’ve been in another spurt since the last few posts, so I’m currently working with 4 wonderful souls again.) This has been my job (including speaking engagements and photography) for nearly 3 years now and I love what I do! I’m so excited and grateful for the opportunities which have come and hopefully, will continue to come from it.
Although, I lost a lot of regular monthly donors when we left California and I refused to prosecute a case there (for the first time ever!) things have been slowly, but surely building back up again and I wouldn’t still be here if it weren’t for you. The sharing of this site, and of the articles and poems that you love the best also helps a great deal, so thank you!
Focus On The Blessings!
Regardless of this bump in the road with the pastor, many things have been going very, very well and I’m so excited about it! Here are some of the most recent highlights:
- I got involved in another criminal case while living out in Hawaii and that’s the whole reason we had to leave although, I haven’t been able to talk about it until now, as it’s been an open case. The military was flying me out to Japan about two weeks ago to testify as a main witness, but at the last minute upon getting passports, a guilty plea was entered and it’s finally over. Case closed! Seriously people, I really don’t want to work on anymore cases!
- My daughter is in college now and received grants and scholarships which are paying for most of her tuition and books this year. She also has her first real job interview this week with the nursery division at the church ~ YEAH!
- We have been incredibly blessed by a wonderful family who’s hosting us at only $100 a week, so we’ve not had to be in the hotels for awhile now.
- It’s such a blessing to be attending services regularly and I’ve been networking around town as usual. We’ve both been making more friends again and I’ve even developed some new connections recently via email from this site too.
- A local church gave us a couple of gas and Target gift cards last month to help keep all the money in our pocket that we could (this is the only extra help we’ve been able to receive.) Besides sending money through paypal at the bottom of this site (you don’t need a paypal account to do it) anyone can send us gift cards through FB or email (we used to get a lot of Amazon ones which are great for just about everything!)
- I had 5 offers (not spam) just in the last week for businesses and organizations who want to pay for advertising space on this site or have me feature articles about them (paid posts). Now, we know I can’t accept those offers using wordpress.com (they don’t allow us to link to anything for profit other than “donating via paypal”) so I’m still looking for someone to redesign my sight using a different platform (perhaps wordpress.org?) so I can make residual income like it was intended to do in the first place. I finally have enough steady traffic to attract such offers. So, I’m gaining new support and a lot of buzz with things regarding this site again which is super exciting and social media is good too (especially LinkedIn) although, I need to spend even more time there like I used to.
- I’ve had 2 offers for PI work here in Colorado now and while it’d pay the bills, it’s too much in line with doing undercover work, and I really believe it’s time to change gears. So, I’ll have patience again, not settling out of desperation and wait on what God wants me to do instead ~ the right opportunities will come!
- I have quit fighting with God in the wilderness and realized the purpose behind waiting it out in the desert with Him alone. It’s because He wants ALL of me and not just a few parts anymore, and if He had to drag me out to the middle of nowhere for the last two years and strip me of everything in order to get my full attention ~ well then, He loves me enough to do just that, lol! It feels like I’m being prepared for what life has to offer next.
- We will finally have a permanent roof over our heads again on the 14th if I can pay everything down and get the lease signed this week :)
Finally my friends… The encouragement and support you offer in so many different ways truly inspires me to keep going. You make it easier and easier to want to share our lives with you and I’m very grateful that things finally seem to be moving uphill again. Blessings and hugs everyone!