How much should we care regarding what other people think about us? I’d really appreciate your opinions please, because it’s something I still struggle with.
This, That or The Other?
On one hand, I always taught my girl not to care about what anyone had to say to her, called her, or thought of her, etc. especially if they didn’t believe in her.
Yet, on the other hand, what if you’re in the public eye and have a reputation to protect? Can you really not care about the opinions of others while still embracing who you are as a unique individual?
It’s also very important that we understand the difference between constructive criticism and the nay-sayers (be it out of jealousy, their own lack of self-esteem, anger, etc.)
But, we also want to have a positive self-image, self-assurance, and a healthy self-esteem.
So, my friends… How much are we to care and
how do we find a healthy balance between humility and self-confidence?
“Tell me… Do you really care what others think?”
Jessie Jeanine 
October 12, 2015 at 7:27 am
Beautiful post. You are right. It is their loss if they did not understand your worth. Keep writing such inspirational posts.
October 12, 2015 at 7:35 am
Thank you so much!
October 12, 2015 at 7:36 am
Thank you too for your regular interaction on my blog.:)
October 12, 2015 at 7:49 am
My pleasure and likewise :)
September 24, 2015 at 9:48 am
I agree with your logic. Don’t concern yourself with the naysayers. Go forward and leave the negative thoughts and people behind. Thank you for sharing the amazing words and thoughts.
September 24, 2015 at 10:42 pm
I appreciate your support and encouragement as always John ~ Hugs and blessings my friend!
September 24, 2015 at 11:08 pm
I enjoy your work. Always leave me with something to think about.
September 25, 2015 at 12:05 am
Then I’m accomplishing part of what I had hoped to do from the beginning :)
September 25, 2015 at 1:51 am
You are. We need positive words and thoughts.
September 23, 2015 at 6:39 am
I want to be accepted. I want to belong. I want to fit in. But not at the expense of my sanity.
September 21, 2015 at 11:23 pm
No – I only care what God thinks of me. As God is love, if I am pleasing Him, then I am likely loving others the way He would ask….though there are those who can never be pleased…so I leave them to my Father….;) Nice post! thanks
September 22, 2015 at 6:16 pm
Thanks for visiting and great point!
September 20, 2015 at 2:46 pm
I think Charlie Brown says it all. What a beautiful quote. If our choices and actions are guided by love and kindness, that’s all that matters.
September 21, 2015 at 3:06 am
So simple right… Much agreed :)
September 20, 2015 at 1:23 pm
What a nice post, and I loved the little sayings. I think it is true that as you get older, it matters less what people think of you – except for your friends and family, who know the true you. You want to be a good role model for your children! But it’s freeing not to be constantly worrying about outside judgement! Relish just being yourself!
September 21, 2015 at 3:38 am
“Relish just being yourself!”
Embracing those words ~ Thank you!
September 20, 2015 at 1:05 pm
Reblogged this on Kev's Great Indie Authors and commented:
Very strong messages well worth taking note of.
September 18, 2015 at 2:33 pm
Good one
September 16, 2015 at 8:50 pm
Love this post. :)
September 16, 2015 at 9:00 pm
Thanks so much Kev!
September 18, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Anytime, Jessie. :)
September 15, 2015 at 5:41 am
First time reader and I really enjoyed your writing. I look forward to getting to read more.
September 15, 2015 at 6:05 am
Welcome and thanks so much! :)
September 15, 2015 at 1:33 am
I think the key is in being inwardly directed. That means God’s opinion is most important; then mine; then those from whom I seek counsel. Beyond that, others’ opinions decrease with every bit of distance between them and me. If a friend has something to say, I’ll listen; if someone who doesn’t really know me and isn’t investing in me wants to say something, I’ll hear them out; then decide if I agree. Some people have proved that they are not good contributors to my life, so I will not listen to them at all.
September 15, 2015 at 2:58 am
This makes great sense and reminds me of the order 1. God 2. Family 3. Work.
And so true, I think we need to be very careful who we take advice from. Not only do I avoid taking advice from those who aren’t good contributors to my life, but I also look at how they’re contributing to their own life. If they aren’t making the best choices for themselves, they’re not going to make the best ones for me either.
September 15, 2015 at 4:11 am
So true!
September 14, 2015 at 10:59 pm
I struggle as well. It isn’t always easy.
I am challenged by the Apostle Paul to change how I think. “It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don’t even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless. I’m not aware of anything that would disqualify me from being a good guide for you, but that doesn’t mean much. The Master makes that judgment.” 1 Cor. 4:1-4
Be blessed. God is with you!
September 15, 2015 at 3:16 am
I appreciate you reposting this Michael, as it seems very fitting. Without going to the extreme of being a martyr (which is what I was taught) there’s something about this verse that seems to take all the angst out of my question and is just very comforting. Thanks so much and many blessings!
September 14, 2015 at 10:59 pm
To live without care is to create a type of anarchy, and as we are a social animal we cannot live completely unto our own. We need others to survive and we need the company of others in which to motivate us to grow. Without others we stagnate into a kind of self-wallowing muck that clouds our reality like a chaotic soup. It is in our challenges that we grow much like all things that are refined by opposition. The best wine is grown on vines that suffer through drought. The strongest roots and branches are those that contend with strong winds. Precious metals are refined in the hottest fires and diamonds and pearls find perfection through irritations and pressures. It is our trials that define and give us our character and a name that marks us through eternity as one found worthy whose refined riches outweigh their pleasures. A sword that is not beaten into submission through the extremes of heat and cool, in both fire and ice cannot be tested in battle for it is an instrument of truth that will easily break when most needed by its master. You are such an instrument of truth… and the heat of opposition is also cooled in compliance. Though we find our own path we also share in our struggles by becoming part of the lives of others through the mutuality of understanding. In the end you must be wise and know when something is about you and when it is not. You must know when to rise up and when to sit down. Balance is the key to life and the goal is that which dictates the man in the mirror. See the reflection as your ideal self; the man of God made in His image that you seek to create. Give unto Caesar but live unto God. Be both a student and a teacher. Be both a master and a servant. Give and take, that is the balance. Live, love, share and be the best person YOU know how to be while looking and living in the reflection of God. So listen and eat of the fruits the good trees that one may offer, but also know when to spit out the pits… for only truth is the harvest of the soul.
September 15, 2015 at 5:43 am
Wow… This should be a post all on its own! I have re-read your comment so many times and I’m just speechless. I really don’t know what to say although, the tears I shed while reading it through the first couple of times probably says it all.
I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve copied this to put where I can read it more often. Especially, “A sword that is not beaten into submission through the extremes of heat and cool, in both fire and ice cannot be tested in battle for it is an instrument of truth that will easily break when most needed by its matter.” Geez… I may even ask your permission to use that in the future! I’m deeply moved my friend and very grateful, so thank you :)
September 15, 2015 at 10:10 pm
I’m so glad you liked it Jessie Jeanine.
Isn’t this the heart of the meaning of life? We do not start off this life born into God’s image, but rather we are shaped into it through our trials and testing. Consider an existence without adversity. Imagine a life without aging, pain, hungers, and desires. Do away with all the pleasures and pain of this mortal life and what have you got? Nothingness. Life needs motivators to drive it. The pain we face creates the need to overcome it. It is in the give and take that makes us move along our path through life. A perfect life is only desired because you don’t have it yet, and if you could attain it in your mortal life the nothingness would all too quickly return. It is the drive to overcome that compels us to move forward unto discovery and like a snowball of experiences we become enlarged with the sum of our journey. The destination has never been the goal. It is the path itself that builds us up as we gather all things between the beginning and end. The more you are pushed the greater the discovery of the need to eschew the pain, prejudice, hate, misery, hungers and all wrongs of this world because God has placed imperfection within us. It is not a flaw, but a glorious feature to be celebrated. You were not made for a simple life because you were not made to be weak. You are not given comforts to grow soft. You are however given only exactly what you need to become rock hard in your resolve, yet gentle and warm on the inside where it counts and is needed most. If you did not know suffering you would not know love. If you did not know fear, there would be no joy of release. If you did not know pain you could never know peace. But life is not all pain and purpose… Life is filled with moments of beauty and wonder. It is filled with kindness and compassion that most of which comes from other kindred travelers on the same path as you. The people that you love are those that to have overcome. No one loves a quitter because respect is earned through the trials of fire called the light of God. God is not shown as a burning bush or a fire on a mountain top because it is beautiful to behold and glows. No, He is the fire of intellect inside you that tests you like metal for clarity or clay for purpose and stability. God is the fire of life because through the tests of adversity Excalibur the unbreakable sword is revealed, for the word of his mouth, that two edge sword, known as the “Truth” is purified and made complete and manifested in the stone called “You”. You are the sword of truth. You are the image of the living God that dwells and reflects within you. It has all been about you from the beginning, even unto the end of days. You are the embodiment of the great I AM, the lost name of God no man can utter. You are the gift and the keeper of the kingdom… The entire Bible’s greatest secret is and always will be… you.
Never sell yourself short… after the world’s best-selling book of all time, written by God Himself through the lives of His ‘chosen’, is and has always been, secretly the story of you. So always remember to live your life as the hero of your own story.
September 17, 2015 at 7:08 pm
Why can’t they just explain some of it this way in church…
The bottom half of your comment left me with one of those “Ah~Ha” moments. You know, one of those kinds you wait your whole life for… The sort of realization which brings you to your knees with gratitude yet, leaves you weeping like a mess for hours, only to then rise stronger and better than ever. It was indeed, that kind of “Ah~Ha” moment. I’m sure to share and write about it sometime, because it’s a big one for me!
I can’t thank you enough for sharing what was on your heart, as so much of it was greatly needed. I absolutely LOVE how the Holy Spirit works ~ always providing us with exactly what we need :)
September 18, 2015 at 3:28 am
My guess is that now you know something they don’t. :)
I have spent many years in unlocking a great mystery and I would be honored if you would read the book I am writing. I promise you that it will change your world. There are links in the header menus and at the bottom of each page. Please read from the beginning and don’t be afraid to question or comment. Feedback is always welcomed.
http://soulblindministry.com/2015/08/04/in-the-beginning-start-here-2/
or at:
https://unseenword.wordpress.com/
September 14, 2015 at 10:47 pm
I think everything said about us needs to be discerned and taken with a grain of salt! If we feel we are doing what is right and good, then the opinions of others don’t carry as much weight. Yet, I think it is wise to listen and take everything with a grain of salt! While we may perceive our actions as good or noble, we don’t want to come off as “overly righteous” nor do we want to feel we are leaving a good impression when we are actually performing at a less than stellar level. It’s all about balance and sometimes what others say can be our barometer!
September 15, 2015 at 3:44 am
Nicely put! The whole time I was reading your comment, “balance” is the word that kept coming to mind :) Thanks so much!
September 14, 2015 at 10:44 pm
I struggled a long time dwelling on what other people think, at some level we all care, this is human.
Problem for me was that I worried so much about what others thought and not enough about what I thought about myself which caused me to not be true to who I really was.
I think the only way to be truly happy is to be truly happy with yourself and who you are. Once you reach that point, the concerns about what everyone else thinks are reduced dramatically.
This is probably nothing you’ve never heard before, hope it helps.
God bless,
James
September 15, 2015 at 4:49 am
“Problem for me was that I worried so much about what others thought and not enough about what I thought about myself which caused me not to be true to who I really was.”
I’ve not only heard it James, but I’ve written about it in my personal journal quite a few times over the years. Putting myself first in any capacity what-so-ever has always been the last thing I’ve wanted to do, but I’m finally starting to learn that a certain level of selfishness is not only OK, but healthy even. It is such a struggle though! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve come to that point… Do you mind my asking, what got you there? Was it hitting a certain age or…?
September 16, 2015 at 10:20 am
I think age has something to do with it but it was a combination of a few things that go along with getting older too.
I have kids and I want to set a good example.
Keeping up apearances costs money that is better used for other things.
I am more mature in my faith now and understand that God doesn’t care how I appear to others.
I got tired of the effort required when it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme.
You are right that a certain level of selfishness is OK but it is easy to take it too far.
James