Missing in Action

The irony… Of becoming homeless yesterday and having to give away about $100 in food to people in the parking lot, then donate the rest to our churches food pantry, because we literally have nowhere to keep it now. W…O…W…!

Suppose it’s just another chapter… “The Two Girls Who Needed a Room,” Our life and experiences in California. So much for moving to serve a church, friends… My bad.

Talk about a living nightmare… Thought I knew what hell was already.

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32 Comments on “M.I.A.”

  1. drdehooks Says:

    Hi Jeanine, just learned of what happened to you; sorry to hear that! I pray your situation has changed by now! Praying for you and God is with you; no matter what it looks like! God bless!


  2. Hodgepodge 4 the Soul™ Says:

    Jessie, I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been working on a book about my, during the time we were homeless. Underscore were. Past tense. My family of six, hubby, myself and our four kids. It was so hard, really hard, yet we found ourselves still being able to laugh.

    You are going THROUGH a valley but you and your family are being lovingly guided to the mountain top. You have Jesus. So with Him you have everything. I know. It’s crazy difficult, the shoulda, coulda, woulda thoughts, not to mention what the enemy is trying to place in your head, and trying his hardest to make you become bitter. At the same time, you’re human. So if you need to vent, then by all means vent. Keep a journal and let it all out. As a mom, I know a little bit of what you’re going through. If you have to listen to the same worship song at night, over and over, then do it. Fill the atmosphere with the presence of the Lord.

    I admire your courage to post and share this with all of us. I’ll be praying. Just think, the testimony you’ll have will win many to Christ. “…in this world you’ll have trouble but be of good courage, I have overcome the world.”



    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      Thank you for sharing so much of yourself as well Dulcinea. And funny thing, I just posted on FB today about this very thing (even though I see you left your comment awhile ago.) I’ve truly been able to discover for myself that, yes… We can still choose to be happy, joyful, excited and all those good things even while being homeless. It’s seems absolutely amazing! I won’t lie… There was a lot of screaming and crying before getting to this point though. It’s reminded me of how I tried writing a post a couple of years ago about Paul in the bible, and being content whether abased or abound, but for some reason was never able to quite put it all together or finish it. I thought I’d been through it all (so to speak) but this experience has been teaching me so much more in the ways of ministry, so I’m already grateful for what’s been coming out of it. Now, maybe… Just maybe… I’ll be able to write a more complete article in relation to what Paul teaches us one day. I’m so glad to hear you and your family seem to be back on your feet again and know that you are appreciated my friend. Many hugs and blessings to you all! xoxo


  3. akateacher Says:

    Hang in there! As you said above, the situation may have been to get you out of where you were. We are currently going through a situation where we rented a guest house in another town, only to have the homeowner tell us three days after moving in that his bank foreclosed on him (thanks for the warning). Tomorrow, we move into a more expensive home. This all didn’t fit into our plan when we decided to make the jump and become self-employed, but we’ve been able to see the blessings that have occurred through this situation and are certain that we have been placed on this specific path. I’m sure you’re getting tired of hearing it, but look for the small blessings! Not only will they lift your spirits, they may give you inspiration for the next step of the journey, or even make clear the reason that you are going through this current trial. Many prayers are with you and wishing you the best!


    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      So many wise and beautiful words sweet friend… You have no idea how much you’ve hit home in all directions :) I’ll keep you and your family in prayer and wish you only the best in regards to becoming self employed. WOO~HOO! I’ve gotta say that after making that leap nearly 20 years ago, I’d never change it nor, could I ever go back despite the ups and downs which can occur. I pray this finds you settling into your new home and warm hugs always! ღ


  4. Lilka Raphael Says:

    Praying for you. Sometimes God uses the worst of circumstances to bring about the best resolution. When you feel like you are going through hell, keep moving! Crawl if you must, just don’t stop!


    • lisa evola Says:

      I know that when you are going through something that is harder than anything you have ever done before, it can be difficult to listen to the words of strangers. In my experience the mountain top experiences don’t come without spending a bit of time in the desert. I will be praying for you and your family and will enlist the rest of the beautiful life writers. Prayer is a powerful thing….and it looks like there are many who love you and are praying. God is working on a solution as we speak…..hold on tight, the top is coming.


      • Lilka Raphael Says:

        Your words are so true. We do tend to spend time in the desert before reaching the mountain. Prayer is indeed powerful. Your kind words are very much appreciated as I continue to hold tight… Bless you!


      • Jessie Jeanine Says:

        You are very much appreciated Lisa, thank you so much! And yes, I’m not sure how I could’ve gotten through these last couple of years without everyone’s love, support, prayers and encouragement here. I would’ve never thought about blogging normally, but it’s been such a blessing in so many ways, and I can’t wait to come back regularly again :)

        “God is working on a solution as we speak…..hold on tight, the top is coming.” Hugs to you sis!


    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      “When you feel like you are going through hell, keep moving! Crawl if you must, just don’t stop!”

      Thank you so much Lilka ~ Very encouraging words ~ Hugs to you dear!


  5. dianarasmussen Says:

    God has a breakthrough coming your way sister!


  6. Michael Wilson Says:

    Jessie, so sorry to hear about this. Is there anything your followers can do to help?


    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      Hi Michael… That feels like such a loaded question at this point. I’ve been reaching out for help, exhausting resources several times over, for weeks now. Actually, since Memorial weekend when this all started. Legally and morally, we’ve done what’s right, but this is what it’s gotten us.

      We do have some good news, however… Someone I’ve never even met and who has no affiliation that I’m aware of, just put us up in a hotel for about a week. We could only afford to pay for a few days ourselves, so that’s why we hadn’t taken that route – didn’t want to set ourselves up for failure, having no food or gas money by the end of the week. So, for the first time in about two months, we both finally slept, we’re safe, we have hot water and cool air. We can breathe… I cried with gratitude when I opened the door to our room and just collapsed on the bed. Our NEEDS have been so simple.

      Now, I just wish we could rest a bit, because on my 42nd birthday next week, we face sleeping in the car again. It’s become this insane circle of events that just doesn’t seem to want to stop. It keeps spiraling out of control. I’ve turned everywhere possible that I could find or that’s been given to us for help, but still… nothing concerning a roof over our heads. Funny thing is we’ve never asked for a free ride either – we can pay rent, have income, excellent references, solid rental history, good credit, etc.

      So, now that I’ve gone this far… I’ll continue to share some more, because I’ve only been posting on Facebook about it.

      We gave up apartment, job, and school in San Diego to move to southern Orange County just because I felt called to serve a church (the first time in years.) My daughter had moved out for awhile and our circumstances were changing drastically anyways, so it seemed to be the right time. It took a few months to find roommates, but once we got here, they bailed on us (without saying a word, btw.) So, we had to take what we could find and rented a room from someone. She turned out to be an abusive, highly unstable, individual who has threatened our lives many times over now and for weeks it was a living hell. She took our money, we signed a lease agreement, then she tried to kick us out on day 5 or 6 for no reason after we cleaned for her. Then after a 10 minute 911 call where she physically lunged at me twice and was trying to break down our doors AGAIN last week, the police still wouldn’t issue an emergency order for protection or anything (just because I happen to be quicker than she was – guess I should’ve let her get a hold of me, is what I was told) so we finally just HAD to leave.

      So, we’re back in the same situation and have to rent a room from someone else who told us no more people would be moving in. We gave them a $1,000, moved in, on the second day they moved more men in, on the 3rd day they kicked us out too. Once again, I’ve got signed lease agreements and receipts for things paid.

      Two people in a row have done that to us now and the whole time, I’m doing nothing but trying to find us somewhere else safe and affordable to live. The whole time, I’m in the prayer office and talking to anyone who will listen CONSISTENTLY, and yet… nothing. Our churches only solution (finally) was to get us into a transitional living shelter, but it’s so far away we’d have to quit the jobs we’ve already secured, so it makes absolutely no sense. Even the Director of the program was like no, that’s not going to work, ask them to put help towards something in our area, which would help enable us to keep the little we’ve been able to obtain so far. Even after I showed up stating that we’re sleeping outside on the churches patio couches because we have no where else to go… nothing.

      Everyone is praying – No one is doing. And that’s the whole reason I came here. I understood it to be different. Seems I was wrong.

      (So, that’s the anger talking too.) Honestly, they do have some amazing resources, but I’ve never seen people so afraid of helping or being involved where housing issues are concerned. The more I’ve learned about the landlord/tenant schemes that run rapid throughout Cali, I get it, because we’ve actually been victims 3 times over now in all our time living here (sub-leasers move you in, collect monies, then try to kick you out within that 30 day mark cause of the way the laws are set up around here.) Also get the Department having to be so hands off due to claims of false arrest and so forth, which are related I guess. BUT, I don’t agree with any of it! It seems so wrong. Everyone says all the right things like… I’m sorry, I hear you, let’s pray, good luck, wish you the best… But, that’s it. I just don’t understand that type of mentality although, I believe they’re compassionate and some can even empathize.

      It makes me want to start some sort of program or something, but I don’t know what yet. Especially concerning the civil side now, as I’ve always been involved with Domestic Violence instead. So, if there are statutes in place which are supposed to protect citizens when DV isn’t the issue, then the Dept. has to have the education, confidence, ability and support to be able to enforce such things too.

      Whew…! Certainly wasn’t planning on putting it all out there like that. Wasn’t even planning on posting anything about it either, but it either goes up or I’m just done with this website, because it has seemed to lost it’s purpose, direction or something.

      And I’ve never been somewhere where so many people are hearing from God and telling me it’s time to rest. Well… I agree, especially where my health is concerned, because I’ve not shared any of that here yet either, but if that’s the case then someone (God) needs to provide a roof over our heads to make it happen. I can hardly rest, get out of survival mode, or quit kicking ass so much when we’re literally homeless. We do need to rest. I need a respite. Soon.

      *So, Michael… You asked how followers might help. The obvious one is prayer and sharing, of course. Although, if people would like to help buy us some time to stay in this hotel by making a donation using the paypal button at the bottom of this site – that would definitely help. Or if someone wanted to help provide a down deposit, as these last two people took all our money, that would be awesome. If anyone has a room to rent for under $800 that they’d allow us to share for awhile if we have to month-to-month, that’d be a blessing. We could push $1,000 a month for some sort of studio or mother-in-law place. And we’ll be able to afford more in about 6 months, but all of these events put us so far in the whole, I can’t even get the car fixed or anything right now. Due to work, we need to stay around areas like Irvine, Lake Forest, Mission Viejo, Rancho Santa Margarita, Laguna Hills/Woods, Aliso Viejo, could maybe do Tustin… OR if anyone has work and housing as a possibility for relocation, I’d also consider that as an option at this point. The medical center I need is on the North side of L.A. so Thousand Oaks would work perfectly. I’ve also been tossing around some other States again, but it needs to be somewhere that it doesn’t snow or get too cold, because of my health.

      Maybe some people are right… Perhaps the call was just to get us “out” of where we were, but not to this specific church. I’m good with that, because I’ll go and be involved in ministry wherever HE calls me. Although, I’ve never believed it’s supposed to be in this country even, so perhaps the struggles will remain as long as I’m here. We just need a break people, a fighting chance. All we do in life anymore is just survive. I didn’t come this far and do as well as I did for most of my daughter’s life to wind up like this. It was all meant to give her a better start.

      *If it’s on anyone’s heart again to pay for our hotel stay directly, please contact me via email or private message on Facebook or LinkedIn if we’re connected. People can also send gift cards for gas, Amazon, etc. that way. Once again, we have an income – just not enough yet to do it on our own. I’d run a fundraiser, but am still too limited with this platform. Anyways…

      *You know what else? I was starting a project before coming here, but wasn’t able to find the time, let alone write since all this mess started. So, if you’ve got a story to share, whether it be one of being homeless or of how you learned to become a survivor instead of remaining a victim… Please feel free to send me your story. It was never going to include being homeless before, so I’ll get more narrow as we see what God may or may not do with it, but I’ve always felt a pull towards it much more than I do with survivors of violence even therefore, let’s open that door now. I get emails all the time of things like this, but I’m asking you to share your story… I want to provide a platform for victims to find their voice, because that’s how we get our strength back, and become survivors instead. Plus, we could just really use the encouragement, lol! Please note though, I’d like permission to possibly use anything you email or send for future publication in some way – it could wind up in print or on the internet like this, so if you DON’T want me to do that, then PLEASE specify and tell me that I DON’T have permission to publish it in any way. I would also change names, locations, and blur any images if need be. Otherwise, I’d love to start collecting and sharing with each other in a much bigger way! Everyone has a story to tell and everyone deserves to be heard, but especially survivors and those without a voice (so to speak) like people struggling with homelessness. No one can help or do anything about a problem unless people are willing to share, so let’s see if this is really part of God’s plan for our journey or not.

      Blessings to you my friends and I’ll try to get this redone in an actual post. If you prefer to send something to us via postal mail, it’s finally an option for us as well. Please contact me privately for an address. Thanks everyone! <3


  7. Judy Says:

    I am so sorry, Jessie! Hang in there – it will get better. There’s no where for you to go but up now. Sending a big hug!


  8. The Mouse Says:

    Sending you positive thoughts. Hope you find a solution soon.


  9. Red Dog Garage Says:

    Bummer. You’re not the first I know of who moved for a church and then found out all was not well. Will ask God to protect and provide what you need.


    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      Thanks so much… I don’t even have words for this experience yet. It’s been the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever gone through.


      • Red Dog Garage Says:

        I have learned that when I find myself in a situation I did not expect, or desire, I look for the lesson(s) God is teaching me. By looking for the lesson it helps me to not feel so frustrated or duped (does not always work but helps). On a sarcastic side note from an introvert, I like to say it is good to know who your friends are so you can avoid them. ☺️


        • Jessie Jeanine Says:

          Hmmm… What happened to keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer!? ;) And agreed where the lesson is concerned. That’s what’s been so mind boggling about this, because EVERYTHING else in all areas of our lives seemed to point here and be a blessing. It’s literally just been this housing piece, so yes, I’d just like to know what I’m missing or supposed to be learning so this craziness can stop.


          • Red Dog Garage Says:

            My sarcasm about knowing who your friends are grows out of those who know you when it is convenient or to their advantage. True and trusted friends are hard to come by (for the complete breakdown on friends https://reddoggarage.org/2013/04/05/friendship/) and sometimes they take advantage of the friendship. I really do value the friendships I have and try not to have enemies. Life can be complicated and the cost of housing in California is unreal in the San Francisco area. I very fortunate to have kept my home in this astronomical housing market.


  10. staffordbartholomew Says:

    Jessie, Where are you? I am in the Bay Area of California and I go to a big church. Contact me on my private email. I was on the street for 2 years, only what you can carry, it is hard. I hope I can help. Bart


  11. +2 Says:

    Trusting that He has a good plan for you through all of this, my friend. I am sorry to hear about all of the hard times.


  12. Damo Says:

    What? Really? I am gobsmacked. What will you do? I read somewhere once that if you’re going through hell don’t stop! I’m sorry to hear this but every cloud….. Thinking of you.


    • Jessie Jeanine Says:

      Thank you so much Damo! After living all over the country, I’ve never seen anything like the housing and homeless situation that exists here in California. It’s really sad. And rather, I’ve seen it in other places before, but never witnessed such an… ‘acceptance’ of it, maybe? Or what seems like a general attitude of not caring, or I can’t do anything about it, or that’s just the way it is… All I know is, it isn’t right. There certainly aren’t enough resources for homeless or victims of DV around here either. Makes me want to do something about it, but I don’t know what yet.


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